My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize