I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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