All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
