I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
