He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
