She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
