Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I party with great urgency now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
