im having a threesome with these popsicles
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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