mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if only i could text you this smell
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
