YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
try to milk me bitch
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
