So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
