I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
