There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
