Plan B is the new Plan A
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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