Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
