I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
