he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
