it wasn't lemon gatorade
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
