she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
