why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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