D3 body, D1 cock
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
