Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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