Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
