70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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