If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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