Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
