This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
