I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
