a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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