Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
