my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize