i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
