im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
