turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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