Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
do nipples grow back?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
