so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
