think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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