All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize