Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
