hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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