i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
