thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
