Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Terrible idea I love it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
