i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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