Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
