my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I believe in your delicious
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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