I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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