Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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