where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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