is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
