Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
