i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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