so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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