Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it's great music for shaving your balls
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
