if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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