They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
