Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
