Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Be still, my beating vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
