I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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