you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize
