why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
