Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
