those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
