He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
