This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
