So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
