Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
