I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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