Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
