He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize