My room smells like vodka and shame
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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