The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
