She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
